Day 47

Ascension.

Day three after chemo. I don’t actually feel too well, feel very tired irritable and a bit sick. Food tastes like junk and my mouth tastes of battery acid. I struggle to organise anything in the morning, moving things around shuffling stuff about. I make a start on putting up the curtain rail around my daybed, but it turns out it’s been manufactured back to front. The guy who’s who sold it is keen to sort it for me and that’s good.

At 11 meeting with John and a lady called Jennifer, who is interested in getting involved in the Penzance Seafront Forum. She’s passionate about the promenade, and would like help.  Some interesting points come out of our discussion, partly to do with the website and how it might function how it might be more accessible, and also I sense the confusion of the community and the need for the website to be there not just as a test site but as the real thing. We discussed the possibility of launching the site before Pirate Day which will bring thousands of people thronging on the promenade, maybe a good time to sign people up for the newsletter… but we’ll have to see, because at the moment it’s still only me making it happen, and I really need to concentrate on what I’m doing for myself. Though I’m convinced that keeping up with these interests and activities will be a key to my recovery. I’ll talk more to John and Martin about it tomorrow. I haven’t really thought about the seafront forum and the website I’ve made some time, but I’d really like it to be up and running.

In the afternoon Jane McL takes me shopping all over Penzance to find cleaning products of the organic variety. It’s a good plan, I need to do a major spring clean on the studio before I get too fragile, and Jane has organised a cleaner to come next Tuesday called Gemma is going to help. I’ve never really cleaned this place in 10 years, and and what I haven’t been able to suck up with an industrial vacuum cleaner kind of just gets left. I hate the smell of cleaning chemicals, so hopefully some of these organics will be more acceptable. Jane is funny about it all makes me laugh, and also has another book on cancer diet for me which looks good.

I get home and much out of breath carrying the shopping bags. I wonder if Ive really been honest on the hospital’s health questionnaires, where they ask about breathlessness moving bags from one room to another… I just haven’t realised how worn down I’ve been getting. It’s a shock.

It’s 5 o’clock, and I treat myself to go in the massage chair! And then go to bed for an hour. I’m woken by a text from Richard Blackborrow who told me about a performance tonight that a band he is producing is putting on. At the Minack theatre! He’s put a ticket aside for me, if I can handle it, and of course I can. In fact it’s great to get out of here, and I spin off through the early evening in the Vitesse to Porthcurno. It’s a really beautiful evening, overcast but no wind and to sit looking out over the ocean and the Logans Rock, and to hear the rather wonderful and ethereal music of the Ascension Plan and the 50degrees Choir is marvellous. Penwith at its best. I catch up with a few people, Paul, Ian and Tim, but sit up the back, ready to make my exit if I need. Saz comes to join me which is very nice…very pregnant and facing an entirely new future too.

I leave before the end, and put the roof down again on the Vitesse and speed through the night roads and surprisingly warm air and love every moment of it. My old car.

 

Temperature this morning 35.0C check again 34.9C. About 6 AM. Am I cold?

I bought a digital thermometer on Wednesday, on the advice of the haematology team. I have to watch my temperature, and if it goes up to contact them on the emergency number.

Okay, we’re talking numbers so I weigh myself on the scales

Temperature and Weight

Temperature this morning 35.0 C on waking 6.00am. 6.5 hrs sleep

Weight KG 62.4
Body Mass Index 19.3
Body Fat % 14.7
Body Water % 58.4
Muscle Mass % 40.6

Hmmm, when I bought these scales a month ago I weighed about 65 kg. More weight loss – Dr Kruger was right.

Comparing my BMI to the charts, I’m towards the bottom of the healthy zone of 18.6 – 24.5  Less than 18.6 and I’m in the underweight zone with moderate risk to my health based on BMI alone. But hey, at the moment I’m still in the normal zone. I’m not sure what these other percentage figures really mean but maybe I’ll keep recording them. It’s the change in them that’s important I guess.