Day 113

Chemo No. 6

7.30am and I’m on the train feeling rough after not a good sleep – nightmares and sweats.  I don’t think it’s the cancer sweats, just hot and bothered somehow and uncomfortable.

I fess up to Nurse Gaynor about hurting my back when she asks how I’ve been.  She makes a note of it and no doubt Dr Kruger will get to hear of it too.  I’ll be in the dog-house again, following the broken rib episode.

Anyway, I’m weighed – still gaining a bit, 65.7kg on my scales this morning.  Gaynor has broken her glasses and is wearing an old pair so doesn’t want to take the bloods or place the canula in my arm in case she botches it – I say she could do it with her eyes closed but she prefers to leave it for the chemo nurses later in the morning and sends me to see another nurse for the bloods.

I’m quickly called into Dr Kruger whose happy with the blood counts and raises eyebrows and the back injury.  He explains that there’s not much point in an x-ray or anything as they wouldn’t suggest an operation during the chemo even if it proved necessary.  His advice is “Rest up and take more care of yourself!” [Subtext – you idiot!] and he puts me forward for the next chemo session this afternoon.  He’s also arranging for an interim PET/CT scan to keep an eye on the small show in my liver…

I slip out of the hospital for a couple of hours and find a tree to lie down under – its a but chilly but I don’t mind, I’m having an aversion to the wards today, and I actually sleep for a bit.

Back in Chemo I’ve got new nurses again – Jane and Heather – both great and on the ball.  The session goes without hitch and I read about boats and sailing adventures.  I watch the chemicals dripping into me out of the corner of my mind – I know I need them but I think I hate them too.

I’m out by 6pm and Ali and Milli pull up as I leave the main exit and we’re off back to Penzance and supper and sleep.  My brain is on fire with the steroids and my body is somewhat uncoordinated – so much so that as I come down stairs I manage to somehow go up instead of down on the second but last step and crack my head on the beam above – damn it! Damn it! That hurts and jars my neck and back. It’s a head in hands moment.  I can’t believe I’ve just done that.  Poor Alison – sorry honey its hard being around me sometimes.  Milli can’t stand it either and licks my hand and wants her tummy rubbing –  ahh that’s better.

We go for a walk down the harbour for the last of the sunshine and its a lovely evening  There are a number of tourists, Italians and Chinese wandering about enjoying it all.  But being Penzance, there’s nowhere for them to go to eat or drink in the evening sun or to take in the view of the boats and water. Then suddenly my racing mind sees something which I’ve missed even after the last 6 years of community planning and campaigning and trying to understand how all this area works and figure out how to make the best of the harbour and seafront for this town.  Holy Smoke!  Now that is a hot idea!  So hot I’m not going to write it down, but I’ve just seen an extraordinary opportunity which might actually work.  Well, well.  Maybe that knock on the head…