Day 127

Chemo No. 7

Waking at 6am in the bus in Cot Valley is lovely, the air cool, overcast.  Quick breakfast at the cafe then I head back to Penzance and get ready for my day in hospital.  I’m quietly dreading chemo today.

All goes ok, but I’m pretty low and spaced out and Nurse Siobhan picks up on it straight away and later she and Gaynor cheer me up asking about the bus and boats and so on. So nice.  After the bloods I see Dr Kruger who hasn’t got the full PET scan results but has chatted with the radiologists and wants to continue with the trial in any case.  A bit later he does get the results confirmed and Siobhan comes to tell me when I’m hooked up in chemo that the liver scan is clear and there’s nothing to worry about – the message from Kruger says ‘No definite evidence of ongoing metabolically active Lymphoma‘.  Wow, thats good news.  My rib still shows as a hot spot and my back injury too.  We discuss this and I ask if they can give any advice on what I’ve done to my back and she says she’ll raise it in the x-ray meeting at afternoon.

Before chemo I get a couple of hours to myself and go out and doze under some trees in and out of the sunshine. I’m exhausted by the day already.

I’ve got new chemo nurses today and a corner seat in the ward and the afternoon passes with the usual drips and injections and quiet business of the nurses and the coming and going of patients. I’m not enjoying these chemicals feeding into me, I can just feel their poisons begin to work straight away and I feel heavy and toxic. It’s a bit of mental battle this time trying to keep up, and I don’t feel like talking or chatting but do my best.  But these nurses know the score I’m sure and they keep cheerful but keep away too.   I like them for this.

Siobhan returns later to tell me that the PET scan shows that I’ve got a compression fracture in my lumbar spine to vertebrae L1 and she’s brought a print out which illustrates this.  That’s so thoughtful.  And it’s good to know what I’ve done down there.  Hopefully the X-ray from West Cornwall will show the same and give the physios something to work with when I see them on Friday.

Alison and Milli are there to take me home at 6pm – and Ali takes Milli out for a walk on the shingle beach at Battery Rocks while I clean up the last two days chaos of dishes in the kitchen and get some chicken pieces roasting with garlic olive oil and lots of herbs from the garden… After supper I pretty much conk out then wake at 2.30am the steroids keeping me up for several hours in the night but I do get down again eventually.

It’s a good day though despite the weight of it; this is the halfway mark and I’m on the countdown to finishing the chemo treatment, the last shot will be on the 30th September.  I just need to get my head together.