Day 142 – 145

Zoned out.

Four days pass.  I got away with it last session but this time I’ve been zapped and sapped by the chemo – zoned out and useless.  Not sleeping and struggling to eat anything, making food, throwing it away,  just the smell of it enough to put me right off.  Dammit.  Anyway, I know it’s temporary, I know I know.

Somewhere in between stupor and torpor I manage to get a simple website together with the Chapel Street house details which reads ok I think, and make up the FOR SALE sign to put on the wall.

I also get up to the barn and spend one afternoon trying to get on with the work on the Vitesse but its too much and everything I touch goes awry: I take the spray gun apart to clean it and can’t figure out how to put it back together again; I put things down and loose them; I can’t see what I’m doing but rigging up more lights is too much; I tip over a litre of petrol when I pick up my jacket to leave spilling it everywhere.  Give it up.  Go home.  Get some rest.

But I have visitors which is good!  Francesca and Chris bring croissants and conversation, on  holiday in St Ives.  And Billy is back from Ireland and comes round; tea, talk and then helps me put up the For Sale sign on the house.  I’m up the ladder fixing screws and a car stops and the guy shouts out “Hey!  Are you selling that house?  I like that house – I look at it everyday!  How much are you asking?”   Wha?  That’s ridiculous but funny and I guess encouraging.  I tell him to check back with the website and be in touch if he wants…

Of course I manage to put the sign up a little crooked but it comes as no surprise.

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