Day 315

Re collection

It’s changeover day. Everything is back to front.  The chemo is heavier again and I’ve changed time zones;  deep asleep passed out at 6pm last night after a long day with the Marcin and Richard B working in house and studio, me running electrics and plumbing and running in circles.

A long end of day conversation within Dr Saz who heard through my slurred words and thoughts and picked out the positive with me, and after hanging up I got into bed at 6pm half dressed and slept for 7 hours.  I’ve been beautifully awake since, getting at 1.30am and heating up some savoury buckwheat porridge made by Kate and Alexandra and then spent an hour final-coating the new work surfaces RB has installed for the kitchen.

I’ve been back in bed since and it’s now 7am. Not really sleeping as the steroids still course around, but resting deeply and helpfully as my mind flies with excitement – so many good things happening  from really close up to far distant blue wide horizons, and I don’t count all the hour bells outside so I do sleep more too.

My first task today is to pack away my collection of things that have filled my shelves in what is now becoming the food prep area of the kitchen.  There’s some careful packing to do, all these things from the past – my personal treasure; things from childhood and early teens, things I’ve found and not lost, things I’ve made, my old pottery, things other people have made and given to me.  I’m packing it all away carefully and will make time to just document them as I do so because I love all these things, but it’s time to clear the decks and think only forwards now.  I’m taking it all with me but deep inside.

A busy day – a late breakfast at the Dog & Rabbit with Richard B and Ali to draw up some plans for new storage cupboards that R will build when the cafe closes for February.  I’m manic with energy from the  chemicals and steriods and am hard to handle, but Alison keeps me in check – I don’t feel much like myself and rather out of control.  Its small things – I can’t judge the flow of conversation or reasonable exchange.  Weird. But we get a good plan together and have a lovely breakfast.

At the studio later and the kitchen works are almost done and Diana comes over and we make a banana/kiwi/wheatgrass/ginger smoothie in the new Vitamax blender which works a treat.  So, now to start some super nutritional eating…though sad to say I can’t taste a thing through the chemicals waging their war inside.

I’ve been having a very positive time the last few days; turning round the kitchen is a good thing and is part of preparing for what’s to come with the treatment and aftercare.

And another uplifting thing is happening – I’m going to look at another boat, in Scotland next week.  Its another Saltram Saga but it has a very different story to ‘Beth Eliza’ in Plymouth, which after the several months of looking and thinking and dreaming remains a potentially very lovely sailing boat but really requiring too much of me.

The owner of the Scotland boat has been amazing, not just in his approach to the boat during his period of tenure but to me too now.  We are going to meet next week.