I’m floating in deep space – all I can hear is the aircon and some faint bleeps, strange light filters in through slots in the doors and walls and LED’s glow all around me in the dimness of my new home – I’m here for 5 weeks confined and defined by what is in this room and what is happening to my body. My old world is a distant place – this is my new world, or rather it’s almost my new world. My New World begins in six days time when the high dose chemo is complete and I receive my stem cells on Day Zero.
The processing starts straight away – within 10 minutes of being admitted I’m given swabs for groin, nasal, oral and rectal cavities and another for stool when available, and a chart to record all fluid intake plus output of urine, stool and vomit recorded by the hour for each day I’m here. I feel like I’ve been in training for a year, preparing for this. I’m an old hand; matter of fact and positive, relaxed, unembarrased. Do it to me – I’m ready.
I like Science Fiction and this comes pretty close. I’ll sleep now – it’s 2.15am and I should be tired but time doesn’t mean much anymore and I feel awake, aware of the distances. I like to think of the stars out there beyond the window that doesn’t open…
Where is everyone?